I baked a pie.
I’m addicted to sugar, and abstinence is the only way I can arrest the addiction one day at a time. So I didn’t eat the pie. Neither did hubs, because I didn’t make it for him. Yesterday morning I delivered it to my church and from there volunteers will take it, along with a hundred other pies, to the Nashville Rescue Mission. It will be served tomorrow, Thanksgiving.
Tomorrow, before we gather with family, hubs and I are going to deliver Meals on Wheels for FiftyForward, where I serve as Development Director. I don’t have to deliver meals. I don’t have to bake pies. I want to.
You see, after years of living with disordered eating and excess, it’s important to me to help provide food to those who do not have enough. It’s a way I make amends to myself for past wrongs and self-abuse. I don’t want a medal. I don’t want a pat on the pack.
All I want is a little peace of mind. And by giving to others, I get that.