When trying to change a behavior be it drugs, alcohol, smoking, binge eating…it’s advised not to let yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. The acronym is H.A.L.T.
Yesterday I experienced a Big A-angry.
The subject of my anger isn’t important. Let’s just say it was one of those disagreements all couples have every now and again
and the wife ends up being right and they blow over once the parties involved engage in rational discussion.
Before getting to the rational discussion part of the day I was feeling white-hot anger. I was uncomfortable just sitting with that rage. What did I want to do? Since homicide wasn’t advisable, I wanted to push down my feelings with sugar. To be specific I wanted a Dairy Queen Blizzard. To be more specific I wanted a Salted Carmel Truffle Dairy Queen Blizzard. I was alone in my car and less than two miles from D.Q. It would have been so easy.
And I would have felt such remorse an hour later. Because I still didn’t want to just sit with my feelings I decided to get home as quickly as possible and throw myself into a project. I chose to garden. I tended to my roses, trimmed the shrubs in front of the house, and planted lettuce and spinach. After my yard work session I prepped my lunches for the week. Hubs and I went to dinner and I made a healthy choice. During dinner I rationally stated my case and I felt heard (or hubs does a great job of pretending to listen).
This morning I awoke with neither remorse nor a sugar hangover.
While feelings can be very uncomfortable, they blow over. I’m grateful I don’t have to resort to “using behaviors” to stuff them down.