This is a public service announcement.
Always use caution when handling kitchen cutlery.
On Sunday morning I needed about a teaspoon of coconut oil. Coconut oil is solid and waxy at room temperature. Like this:
As I said, I needed a teaspoon. I poked a knife unto the jar and excavated a clump that equaled about two tablespoons. Holding the clump of oil in my hand, I took a knife and attempted to slice off a teaspoon. You can guess what happened next.
I felt a sharp stab to my finger. It wasn’t a deep cut, but because I take a daily aspirin for heart health, my fabulous circulation caused the blood to pour. A sharper knife would have necessitated a trip to the ER.
I wrapped paper towels around my finger and tried to keep my hand above my heart, dripping blood all over the bathroom. The bleeding stopped after about 15 minutes. That’s when things got interesting.
I was rushing to get ready for church. I was now behind schedule and on auto-pilot. I had not yet bandaged my still fresh
stab wound cut and without thinking I put on my wedding rings. The cut was in the exact spot where the wedding band rested on my finger. I know this because the pain seared, the ring reopened the wound and the blood poured forth. My finger instantly swelled and the ring was staying put.
I poured cold water into the sink, keeping my hand submerged while trying to figure out what to do. I yelled to hubs about doing something incredibly stupid. He sauntered into the bathroom to check out the mayhem and suggested I try to calm down to make the swelling go down. Helpful. He brought me dish washing liquid which loosened it enough that my finger grudgingly released the ring. The metal sliding along my finger really opened the wound. No mere bandage would contain the carnage.
Rewrappring my finger in paper towels, I went to work making a dressing. I used Kerlix bandage roll and some sports tape I found in hub’s toiletry bag. Hubs anticipated my teaching might look more like Dan Aykroyd’s portayal of Julia Childs on 1970s Saturday Night Live skit.
While I don’t expect style points, my bandage rolling and taping was effective. I taught my 80-year old ladies’ Sunday School class without making the room look like a crime scene. Here’s the result:
And so, friends, if you must slice a clump of coconut oil into a usable amount, and if you must cut yourself while doing it, and if you must force your wedding ring onto your throbbing finger, I recommend Dawn dish washing liquid for removal of said ring.
Have you experienced any kitchen accidents lately? What did you do and how did you fix it. Confess in the comments section.