Savage Revenge


As I’ve shared several times recently, I’m participating in Expresso’s Abominable Expressnowman Challenge. To recap, challengers must complete 14 Expresso bike tours between December 1 and 31. I did my 13th tour yesterday and now I can barely move.

Expresso tours are grouped into four categories: Beginner, Moderate, Challenging, and Extreme. The 14 tours included in the challenge cover all four categories. Yesterday I did Savage Revenge, a 20-mile Extreme tour. Extreme means climbing mountains. Before work. At 5:30 a.m.

It’s worth mentioning the longest bike ride I’ve ever done was an outdoor 28-miler and that included rest stops and potty breaks. It was on a Saturday and I didn’t have to go to work that day. With this being an indoor cycling challenge, one potty break would mean someone else hops on my bike and I’ve wasted my morning. Plus, I needed to have enough energy afterwards to form complete sentences and fool everyone at work into thinking I was coherent.

To keep myself sane, I mentally divided the tour into four five-mile segments. “Just finish the five miles in front of you,” I kept telling myself. Once I got to Mile 10, I knew I was going to finish. Once I got to Mile 17, I wondered how I’d finish. I was experiencing sore muscles the likes of which I’ve never known.

I finally reached Mile 20…glorious Mile 20 in 1:32:47. That’s slow, but again, I was climbing mountains. I was exhausted, my hair was soaking wet, and I felt elated. My next challenge awaited me: getting off the bike and leaving the gym without too much limping. It was tough. And the soreness got worse as the day went on. Worse as in if I dropped something on the floor I couldn’t pick it up. Worse as in I had to use the handicapped restrooms at work. Worse as in climbing stairs was not an option. Seriously, when I came home from the gym I had to crawl up the stairs. Thank goodness hubs had already left the house, or I would never have heard the end of it.

I’m about to head out to the gym to see if I can physically mount the bike and complete my last tour, Stormy Hollow, a 7.8-mile “Challenging” ride.

Thank goodness it’s not “Extreme.”

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