Thanksgiving: one of the High Holy Days for people who deal with disordered eating.
Thankfully, I don’t have to wake up tomorrow morning feeling angry with myself for gorging today. This morning I made hubs and myself a country ham breakfast. I ate what I wanted and stayed away from trigger foods that hubs can have with no worry.
Later this afternoon, we’ll pick up my mom and her mammoth quantities of food and cart ourselves to my sister’s house. My mom makes the best cornbread dressing ever, and I plan to have some. I’ll eat until satisfied but not stuffed. I’ll skip the desserts and enjoy the people I am with.
But what hubs and I did today between these two meals was a first for us. We were Meals on Wheels volunteers for FiftyForward, the organization I joined in August. I am the Development Director and some of the funds I raise help support this important program. I thought it would be good for me to experience Meals on Wheels from the volunteer’s perspective. But that’s not the only reason I participated.
For years I was trapped in a cycle of disordered eating and I really did a number on myself. Years ago I found a better way to live and, one day at a time, I can approach food sanely. I thought it would be fitting to deliver food to some people who wouldn’t know where their next meal is coming from without that support. I wasn’t after a pat on the back, impressing the boss, hearing “thank you” from the recipients, or getting compliments from people who read this blog. I volunteered to remind myself that during the years when I ate food in excess, there were others who didn’t have enough. By helping them I was making an amends to myself for all of the self-inflicted abuse. And I volunteered in order to “pay it forward” and thank all of those who have helped me along my path to wellness.
Today I am thankful for the abstinence I enjoy one day at a time.
What are you thankful for?