Tuesday morning was a rainy one. I don’t run in the rain unless it’s for a race that cost me a big bunch of money. I had to run on the treadmill. I hate treadmills and my mood was less than great. So imagine my demeanor when my post-run stretching routine was interrupted by two male crotches positioned directly in front of me. I’m not kidding. Let me explain.
My gym has a stretching area complete with a platform. The platform is like a huge bench covered in foamy vinyl. It’s perfect for people like me who are hobbling after a run and don’t want to make a scene by somehow getting my tired, stiff self all the way to the floor. While I was stretching I noticed two men who were not only working out together, they looked like they were training for the Olympic Synchronized Exercise Team. Seriously, every move they made was in perfect sync. I was feeling mildly entertained by the sight of this when to my horror they each, in perfect synchronized form, grabbed exercise balls, sat on them with legs spread, and began doing their abdominal crunches… right in my face.
I ask you, how does one pretend not to notice two crotches in one’s face while one is stretching? I tried to act as nonchalant as possible, looking everywhere except at the two targets at hand. I attempted to get totally lost in what was playing on my Ipod, but there was no getting around this strange encounter.
I appreciate the male form as much as any other heterosexual gal, but this was just weird. Mercifully, Hans and Franz finished their crunches, got up in perfect rhythm and took their balls elsewhere. I finished my stretching and headed to the shower, thankful my workout was over.