and popsicles. I’ll drink chicken bullion. Later today I will take four Dulolax tablets. Two hours after that I will begin an hour-long consumption of 14 DOSES of Miralax mixed in Gatoraide…low calorie lemon-lime to be exact.
By now you may have guessed I’m having a colonoscopy tomorrow. Why in the world am I telling you this? I’ve heard it said that Baby-Boomers have never had an experience we didn’t share. Aside from that, I want you to read this. And if you are 50 or older and haven’t had a colonoscopy, I want you to talk to your doctor. If she wants to order the test, don’t procrastinate.
When I had my annual wellness visit with my doc last month, we discussed the fact that I would need to have this important procedure before my next visit. This will be my baseline test. If there are no polyps I’ll likely not need another test until I turn 60 in ten years. If polyps are found we’ll craft another plan.
While I’m already a smidge hungry there will be no complaining and no drama today. I won’t promise the same tomorrow when I have to get through the morning sans coffee, but I will try to be my normal, sparking self (insert eye-roll). I care very much about someone who is 51 years old and has shown no interest in getting a baseline test. To protect his identity, he’ll only be known as Hubs. If I treat this like a trip to the park, perhaps he’ll be inspired to get his colonoscopy as well.
My reward for getting through today will be a nice line of Propofol tomorrow morning and hopefully a clean bill of health…
followed by something to eat.