So I’ll go ahead and admit what I’ve been able to share with almost no one, though my guess is you probably knew…I was a closet smoker for 20 years. I’m talking serious closet, as in lying to everyone, including my husband, about the extent of it. (I recently found out that my child knew for years…doh!)
Anyway, I am now 2.5 months past done. As in, I QUIT. For good. Really. And likely feel similar to some of your emotions through your journey…pissed off at myself for giving in the thousand times I’ve tried to quit before, angry at the physiological changes I’m dealing with because of my own choices, and proud as hell to be determined to be committed to ME, one day at a time.
Why tell you? I was so in the closet on smoking (I’ll say it…I was a SMOKER. Ugh!) that I can’t “out” myself about my pride over quitting to most of my friends…not an addiction many in my industry understand…
But I want you to know that your blog helps people. People like me, in hiding, ashamed, etc. Your blog, sharing your experience, really matters. It’s made all the difference for me. And I thank you.
When I called my friend to thank her and ask her permission to share her email message with you, she said, “Reading your blog makes me feel like I can do anything!” She was so excited about being tobacco-free. Her voice was electric.
So why am I sharing this? There’s a saying in self-help and recovery circles: You’re only as sick as your secrets. While this friend of mine hasn’t been able to freely share about her tobacco addiction, she told one person. She shined a beam of light on a part of her that had been in the dark for 20 years. Twenty years! If she chooses to, she can remain tobacco-free one day at a time for the rest of her life. I’m betting she’ll be successful.
I started writing this little blog two years ago to keep myself accountable. I wasn’t trying to be an inspiration or a role model. In fact, there wasn’t much about me that I’d have considered inspiring. If one person reads something here that helps him or her live a healthier life, I feel happy…
One day at a time.