An Admission of Insane Thinking

Yesterday a friend of the agency I work for hosted an event in her home. She invited eight ladies from her church to come and meet me, giving me an opportunity to educate them about my organization. The event included a fabulous lunch that wasn’t a diet-killer. (I prefer to think of myself as “one who follows a food plan” vs. one who diets, but you know what I mean.)

And then came dessert. The table was set in a beautiful Valentine’s theme. Dessert was…wait for it…

Red. Velvet. Cupcakes. Man, were they pretty.

So there I was with a dessert plate in front of me. I actually found myself rationalizing why I should have a cupcake. I didn’t even want it. My thoughts were all about not offending my hostess. In other words, people pleasing. I thought, “If you only have one cupcake and swear to yourself you’ll stop at that, the subsequent sugar withdrawal probably won’t be too bad. You’ll be out of withdrawal by Monday.”


I have a very real, physical addiction to sugar. That cupcake would have sent me into an eating relapse and the 94 pounds I’ve lost would be back on me in no time. I know this from experience.

After a minute or two of this crazy thinking, I snapped back to reality. I still had a cupcake in front of me and I didn’t want to be overly obvious about leaving it untouched. I took my fork and made several cuts so it looked like I’d taken a lady-like bite.

While I dodged a bullet…this time…yesterday served as a major wake-up call. It’s been years since I’ve tried to rationalize eating sugar. Yet I only have a daily reprieve. The past few years don’t matter. All that matters is now. I can not rest on my laurels. I must stay vigilant.

My life depends on it.

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2 Responses to An Admission of Insane Thinking

  1. Chris says:

    Pam I wish I had your discipline. I’m sorry, but red velvet cupcakes? I’m finding it difficult to think of anything better. I’m afraid I’d have torn into them. But I think you’re following the tried-and-true philosophy. One day at a time. I don’t need to say “keep it up” because I know you will. Your accomplishments and self-control are inspirational.

    • Pam Brown says:

      Thank you! I wish I could call it discipline. I’m actually powerless and I relied on a “power greater than myself.” You know how I roll so I know you know what I’m talking about.
      Grateful you’re in my corner, Chris!

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