I shared in a recent post that my weight loss plateau has ended, for now. I discovered I wasn’t actually on a plateau, but I was eating healthy fats in too high of a quantity. I’ve made the necessary adjustments and now I’m back on track.
This week’s weigh in tells me I’m now benefiting from an 81 pound weight loss. While I still have quite a few pounds to lose, physically I feel great. I also feel weird.
I’m not sure I can explain this, but I’ll try. While my weight loss has been slow, I clearly remember how it felt to carry all that extra baggage. Simply walking from Point A to Point B left me panting. And my walk was more like a waddle from side to side. Getting out of a chair or off a couch was difficult. But over the years I got used to it. Carrying the weight didn’t feel good but it felt familiar.
Yesterday as I was walking around and going about my day, I felt physically strange. I felt lighter, which felt good, but I also felt like part of me was going away. I’ve experienced this throughout my weight loss journey as a new “set of pounds” went away.
As one who is recovering from various “isms” I have a history of using addictive substances, including certain foods to push down the feelings. Feelings I numbed included anger and sadness, but happiness as well. I would also attempt to numb fear, including a strange, hard to articulate fear that part of me was going away as the pounds came off. You guessed it, the pounds soon piled back on.
This time I think I am ahead of this emotional curve. I’m talking to trusted advisers and I’m writing about it and sharing it with anyone who reads this. I recognize I only have a daily reprieve from using behaviors and today I’m protecting that reprieve with all I’ve got.
I’m interested in your feedback. If you have lost a significant amount of weight (and by significant I mean an amount that is significant to you), did you ever feel like you were losing a part of yourself? Did that make you feel fearful? If so, how did you work through it?
I plan to work through this weird feeling…one day at a time.