Lately local 482gr8 blog readers I run in to have complimented me on my will power and strength. Some have told me they really like my “South Beach Diet blog.” These compliments are so sweet and kind. The encouragement means more than folks will ever know. But I now see that I must clarify/restate a few things.
I do not have will power. Not an ounce of it. I “work a program” in order to recover from various “isms,” one of which is disordered eating. I treat sugar as if it’s a line of cocaine. I stay away from it. I have to. I also abstain from alcohol. I recently came out of denial about workaholism and I now handle that issue in the same way as my other isms, one day at a time. So you see, I’m not strong; I’m actually a mess who is trying to get a little better every day.
I realize I’ve been posting a good bit lately about the South Beach Diet. I’m currently on a self-imposed “100 Days on the Beach” experiment. During the past few months my food had gotten sloppy and I needed a food plan with more structure. That’s really all this is for me…a food plan. It’s not a magic bullet. Most food plans will work if they are followed. I’m just following this one right now. What is most important to me is being abstinent. Abstinence is simply refraining from compulsive eating behaviors. That’s something I work on one day at a time.
If you feel that you are struggling with an “ism” feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I don’t have all of the answers but perhaps I can point you in the right direction. Anything you write to me will remain confidential.
My name is Pam and I’m an addict. Today I choose to live in the solution rather than the problem.
Update: someone contacted me after reading this post and encouraged me to be more gentle with myself. So I suppose my clarification needs further clarification. These days I’m pretty gentle with myself (most of the time), but it’s important for me to acknowledge my “isms” and to also acknowledge that my daily reprieve from them comes from my Higher Power and not from will power. Hope that helps.