For more than a few weeks, I’ve found it very easy to miss my Mon/Wed/Friday boot camp classes. Some of it I blame on seasonal depression. Nashville had one of the coldest, grayest Februarys in years. It became too easy to sleep in rather than make it to a 5 a.m. class. But there’s a bigger reason that I’ve skipped: the negative self-talk that I’ve begun to banish following Saturday’s faster than ever six-mile run (see post “Banishing Negative Self-Talk”).
I’ve been thinking about why I’ve skipped so many Boot Camp classes over the last few weeks. I realized that I’ve spent most of my life living well within my comfort zone. Boot camp kicks my bootie and takes me well outside of my comfort zone. I constantly compare myself to others in the class and I always come up short. And I’ve viewed coming up short as failure.
On Wednesday I had a heart to heart with Micah and shared my epiphany. I told her how much I hate the group warm-ups (running/sprinting, etc.) because it’s during that part of class that I compare myself with everyone else. She listened and seemed to understand me. I also told her that I realize I need to stop “babying my knee.” Ever since tearing my ACL and meniscus in 2008, I’m afraid of a repeat injury. I can’t stand the thought of going through that kind of pain (months of rehab) again. Micah told me something that was music to my ears. “You’ve already stopped babying your knee. You are now doing so much more in this class than you’ve ever done before.”
Micah offered to let me skip the group warm-up do another type on my own if that would make me feel more comfortable. I decided against that. I’ve been comfortable long enough.
Pam you are an inspiration. You have such great insight & I love the way you call yourself out on things. I’m ALWAYS comparing myself to others on SO many areas only to start the negative self talk which begins the downward spiral. Then afer some time I remember God. I’m exactly where I need to be in accordance to HIS plan not mine.
Thank you for your post. You help me more than you’ll ever know.
Awe, Dave. Knowing you are in my corner means more to me than you know. I guess we are a couple of “works in progress.”