Valentine’s Day is not one of my faves.
My dad died seven years ago today. Ever since then, I’ve preferred to spend Valentine’s Day flying solo under the radar. But doing so has not been my reality. Today, for example, my husband taught our Sunday School class and I chose to be there to support him. Tonight my sister and her family, my hubs and I are taking my mom out to dinner so that she doesn’t have to be alone. In year’s past I went to work rather than wasting a vacation day on a pity party.
I wish the sadness I associate with Valentine’s Day were the only thing causing my blue mood. Those who are on a path of recovery will tell you that it is an ongoing process. It’s often likened to peeling away a layer of an onion. Today I find myself in the beginning stages of peeling away another emotional onion layer. It’s painful. I hate it. But it is necessary. And I can tell this layer will take quite a while and a lot of effort to remove.
So today I choose to define success in what I HAVEN’T DONE. I haven’t used addictive substances to numb the pain. And today that is enough.
Pam, this short thought is really touching. I think it’s so important to step away from old habits if we’re to expect progress. I’ve always loved the sentiment “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.” I often try to do one thing daily that takes me outside my comfort zone, but that effort is much easier said than done. As for onion layers, you may not be aware that your opening up publicly is helping others (namely, me) peel back my/our layers as well. I’m grateful to you that you’re brave enough to bring these private issues public; again, something easier said than done.
Chris, thank you. This is tough stuff, but necessary for me if I’m going to move forward. Glad to have you in my corner.